No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
