I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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