He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
