So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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