So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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