yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize