now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
