if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize