So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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