mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
