he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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