hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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