This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize