Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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