just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Bring me that man meat
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
