I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
