I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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