hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
