I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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