ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize