Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize