Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
