No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
