Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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