yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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