No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize