yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
