I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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