Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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