Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
