He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
