So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He better not be in your backpack
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
