All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
