Where is the hickey?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
