Don't make out with my wife yet
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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