I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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