For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
