Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just gift wrapped bread.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize