OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
