my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Damn victory sex feels great
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
