tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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