these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Someone stole a lamp last night.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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