Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
