No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
