You work out of a Hotel?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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