all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
