How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
