Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
