is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
