so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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