If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
