I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Never underestimate the power of titties
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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