i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
