she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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