Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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