I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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