Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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