so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
