I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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