what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
