dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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