Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize