you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
