My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
