My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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