And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
