were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
