you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
There's always time for handjobs
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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