He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize