they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
