ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
