Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
All I want is dick and wine.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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