I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
