Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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