I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
