ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
God, I missed his penis.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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