I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
