and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
